(Or: The More Things Change, the More Things Remain the Same)

Sa’īd Abdul Latif (Hilarion Heagy)

8 min read·Just now

50

This past May I was going through some old boxes of books and papers that I had in storage, and I came across a folder of writing that I had done in college — all written between 1999 and 2004. It was an odd assortment of works: a play that I had written, some poetry, a paper of Saudi Arabia and secularization, a paper on Machiavelli and his thoughts on religion, papers on Confucianism, women in China, Wittgenstein’s ‘Private Language’ theory, Gandhi’s concept of satyagraha, vegetarianism, Thomas Aquinas, electoral politics, Taoism, early Buddhism, the formation of government bureaucracies, John Locke and early American political theory, South American economics, etc.

Three papers really stood out to me, however. One was an early paper which I wrote in 2002 which was heavily political, and the two others were papers of religion in India and Sufism which I wrote in 2003. I knew that I had saved these papers, but it has been a full twenty years since I’ve read them. What struck me — and what was even a bit of revelation — is how remarkably similar my writing, interests, and way of thinking are now compared to twenty years ago.

When I embraced Islam recently, I remarked to close friends that instead of feeling like I had entered some new, uncharted territory — in a certain sense, I felt like I had ‘become myself again for the first time’. In other words, I felt like I had returned to a way of thinking and a way of understanding that I once had, but which I had somehow lost along the way.

Reading these papers (which I will share below) really brought this feeling home as I feel that I could have written these papers yesterday. (Perhaps with a few more corrections.)

These papers also show how, in a way, my positions have remained remarkably consistent over the years.

Perhaps these aren’t of interest to anybody, really. But I thought I would share them here all the same.

‘Domestic Terrorism’

I was terribly shy in college. Shy and very insecure regarding my own abilities. As a result, I never spoke in class in college. At all. And yet, I had a number of very bold convictions and ideas. I once wrote in my private journal in college: “I’ve found my Moses, but where’s my Aaron?” I was alluding to Moses and Aaron in the Book of Exodus — Moses, who was a bold figure and leader of the people… yet he had a speech impediment and could not speak well, publicly. Therefore, the Lord gave to him his brother, Aaron, to speak on his behalf. Similarly, I felt that I had many bold ideas at the time — but often would not speak them out loud or out of the comfort of my own private writing.

One exception is this paper from April of 2002 entitled ‘Domestic Terrorism’. I wrote this in my ‘Global Studies’ course in which we mainly discussed global economy, global politics, and global inequality. At the time, we were still in the wake of 9/11, and the implications of that event were just beginning to become apparent. One of these implications was the US Patriot Act — a MASSIVE bill which was past in a little over a month after the events of 9/11 and which greatly expanded the authority of the Federal government while curtailing civil liberties. In this paper, I express my righteous indignation at the implications of this bill regarding American free-speech and our right to protest. I made sure to include issues on both the Left and the Right, and I felt that this was an issue which was problematic for every American. I maintain this sense of non-partisan ‘for-the-people’ attitude to this day. ‘Left’ and ‘Right’ are almost meaningless now, in my opinion. There is only ‘right and wrong’. And this can fall all over the political spectrum.

I am often accused of being ‘too political’. But ‘politics’ — in a meta sense — has always been one of my primary interests. Not politics as in partisan fighting. Rather, what is the job of the res publica? What is the role of the government? How do we arrange relationships and power between peoples and groups within a society? Between nations and states? How is politics related to faith and culture? How do we help the marginalized and the oppressed? How do we think of war? How can war be avoided? What does it mean to live a good life? A virtuous life?

These are the questions that interested me about politics. They were the practical nuts-and-bolts of larger, over-arching issues.

In college, I was very politically active. This paper is a bit of a glimpse into that activity. My professor, who was used to seeing me as a very shy, timid person in class was quite shocked at the force of my conviction here. But she approved.

It’s not the best writing, but again… it is a good glimpse into my mind in 2002. And as evidenced by some of my recent writing and statements, political concerns are still imporant to me to this day.

‘Kabir: The Man and His Message’

I enjoyed re-reading this paper about Kabir. Kabir was a well-known Indian mystic and saint from the 15th century, and he is an important figure in Hinduism, Sikhism and Islam — especially Sufism.

Kabir was a very controversial figure in his time. He was often persecuted by both Hindus and Muslims during his lifetime — yet they both claimed him as their own after his death. Kabir was a very unconventional thinker and spiritual guide who straddled the line between Hinduism and Islam in a way that is very particularly ‘Indian’. Kabir had a very Zen-koan-like way of speak, and was often even very shocking — even insulting — to ‘shock’ people out of their way of thinking and to reach a higher understanding.

Kabir was one of my first introductions of Sufism and Islam — especially as it manifested in India. I was very much drawn to (and even identified with) his way of thinking. Kabir’s concern for humanity, his bridge-building between traditions, his way of speaking and relating to the world… all of these things would speak to me and guide me along the way. They would manifest through my continued research into religion in India, Sufism, Rumi, Ibn Arabi, and so on. (This is evident in my next paper, below.)

‘Dara Shikoh: India’s Sufi Prince’

This paper follows in the same vein as the above paper on Kabir. However, in this paper on Dara Shikoh, some issues regarding Sufism are fleshed out a bit more. More specifically, some more philosophical and metaphysical themes are introduced — including (importantly) the concept of waḥdat al-wujūd — the ‘Unity of Being’ — of Ibn Arabi.

By this point in 2003, I had just discovered Rumi in the previous summer — the summer of 2003 — and I was on a journey of discovery within Islam. By the time I had written this paper, I had done a deep-dive into Sufism and Islam, and I was regularly speaking with the local imam in Pittsburgh, as well as various Muslims within the Pittsburgh Muslim community. This was the moment in which I nearly became Muslim myself — but then eventually held back. I would eventually go on and enter a Russian Orthodox monastery six years later.

Reading this paper now, however, it is remarkable how I had come back around to my way of thinking in 2003 almost exactly. And this is a revelation of sorts because, again, I had not read this writing since I wrote it twenty years ago.

Reading these papers have reminded me of a sense of ‘eternal truths’. Wordsworth famously said that ‘the child is the father of the man’. My younger self — an intellectually and spiritually curious young man — is the ‘father’ of the man who I am now. Looking back at these papers, I realize how absolutely similar my views are now as they were twenty years ago — but that was not the case through the majority of the past twenty years.

As for the relation between ‘politics’ and more ‘eternal’ truths, I have this to say: Just as we are ‘mind and body’, so do politics and the spiritual/religious life have their mutually dependent and prospective places in life and in the res publica. There is not one without the other. We are not strict materialists in one hand, just as, in the same way, we are not religious quietists on the other. (Or at least, we shouldn’t be.)

If I may borrow a line from the famous Irish Catholic labor activist Mary Harris ‘Mother’ Jones: “Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.”

Faith and social justice go together. Not just begrudgingly, but integrally. It is part of the Prophetic Witness of our Abrahamic Tradition.

I don’t wish to go on too much further, but I thought that it might be helpful to post these papers here. They not only demonstrate that my political and religious thinking has been pretty consistent over the past twenty years, but they also, in my mind, advocate a way forward in our current situation.

I will opt to leave this last point open to discussion. Please let me know what you think in the comments. And as always… thanks for reading.

If you like this content, please consider a small donation via PayPal or Venmo. I am currently studying Islam and the Arabic language full-time with no income, and any donation — however small! — will greatly help me to continue my studies, my work, and my sustenance. Please feel free to reach me at saidheagy@gmail.com.

Thank you, and may God reward you! Glory to God for all things!